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A LESSON IN RESILIENCE

psychology Jun 18, 2020

According to the Oxford Dictionary, Resilience is "the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness."  I have been reticent on my blog as life has taken a tailspin.  Between the coronavirus pandemic, protesting to prove MY LIFE MATTERS, getting married, taking a securities test (not once but twice) and failing, being thrown into homeschooling my kids, completely revamping everything behind the scenes of my business, wondering if I am still going to make my goal of being debt-free (except real estate) by 30, not being able to flex my extrovert muscles, life has taken an interesting turn.

You would think that all of these things individually would be depressing (other than getting married), not to mention them all happening in the course of a few months, BUT the opposite effect has occurred.  Today, I feel energized!  I feel empowered!  I feel ready to accomplish things that I have been wanting to achieve (blog post anyone?)  How does this happen?  How did I get to this feeling?  Am I crazy?  

Today, I failed the Series 65 test for the second time.  For those that are not familiar, the Series 65 license would allow me to legally provide investment advice and invest funds on behalf of clients.  To me, this is the next level of the business that I am trying to build.  As I sat in the testing center and hit submit, my mind started racing with all the possibilities.  After a few minutes, my results popped up.  I scored 70% when all I needed was a 72% to pass.  

I was heartbroken and felt the urge to cry right then and there.  I had put my entire business on hold to study for this test (rescheduled client meetings, no podcast episode releases, no newsletters or words of the week, no moving forward on pending contracts with new clients, no emails or messages being responded to, etc.).  I put all my eggs in this one basket.  I held the tears back and walked out with my head held high until I got to the car and collapsed into the feeling of being a failure.  I cried in my car outside of the testing facility for about 30 minutes, but then I realized something.  

THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO BOUNCE BACK STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE

I learned a valuable lesson at that moment.  For years, I have put myself on such a high pedestal.  I expect a lot of myself, and I hold myself to standards that are somewhat unrealistic at times.  I realized that I overcame a considerable feat.  I retook a test that I previously failed while amid everything else I named in the first paragraph.  Even though I failed, it was an accomplishment.  It showed that through everything I may encounter in life, I can still press on and come within 2% of a passing score.  As my tears started drying up, I realized the power of that moment.  It gave me a renewed sense of self.  A renewed sense of what I am truly capable of.  And, it prompted me to write this article.

It doesn't matter what you are going through financially, emotionally, spiritually, or physically; there is always a silver lining.  I allowed myself to focus on the negatives momentarily and then CHOSE to focus on the positives.  Even when it seems like there is no hope, there is!  In the past, I would have contemplated suicide amid everything described above, BUT the thought never even crossed my mind.  I realized a mindset shift has happened.  A lifestyle shift has occurred.  If I continued to give in to the negatives of the situation, I would still be sitting in the parking lot, crying my eyes out.  Not accomplishing anything but a "woe is me" pity party.  Who likes to attend those?  But, here I am sitting at home writing on my blog (which I have been wanting to do for months) to inspire the next person.  

This article is essential because it is real.  It shows the emotions that you may experience as you embark on this journey called life.  Just know, you are not alone!  Sometimes, you may have to miss deadlines, revenues, and meetings, but don't beat yourself up about it.  BOUNCE BACK STRONGER THAN EVER!  Show the world you are here to make a mark, and no one can take that away from you.

 

BE RESILIENT!  

Now, excuse me as I continue to take advantage of this newfound momentum!

Oh, and I've already registered to take the test again in about a month.  I will not give up!

What are you struggling with?  How can you use that disappointment/feeling of failure to catapult you into the next level?  I want to hear from you!

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